Starting somewhere

My first entry of blogging in the adulthood! Why today? I don’t know. I have sapre time I suppose. What else could I be doing? After surfing on some other Gemlog (namely senders.io), it gave me the little push I needed to start writing something down. I’m not in a particuliar good mood today, got pretty burned out by work in the last couple of days.

Human relations are hard

I’m currently the lead of a small team of 3 engineers and 1 consultant in a big company and oh boy I miss the time where I was a simple developer. My days are more filled with drama between people than computer/software issues. Lately, I’ve been verbally attacked by the consultant and it makes my days really unpleasant. To a point where I start doubting myself, doubting that I’m qualified to occupy the role I currently have. I know, without context, it’s a bit hard to grasp the situation. I guess I’m writting this more for me, than for anybody else. I’m okay with that. Short context, this consultant and I had our fair share of disagreement in the past, most of the time in code reviews. One of the many hats I wear in my team, is making sure we push quality code that follows our guidelines. The consultant often creates big merge requests (100+ changes), and I tried to convinced him that it would be better to break down huge efforts like this in smaller MRs (you know, smaller steps). It often finishes up by him just leaving (a la flip table) in the middle of the day for one or more days (his record is 3 weeks). He also accused me of being arrogant. I accept the comment, I worked my way of suggesting things, I really did some efforts. However how he perceives my writting, I assume, hasn’t changed because I hear the same complaints. I’m now in a situation where I’m stressed and anxious to interract with him, being afraid of saying something that will be misunderstood. Lately, he attacked me on “public” channels in front of the team, saying that it’s no fun working there, it’s like working for the government. That really demolishes me as I try hard, every day, on making this job a fun one.

Back in my old ways

This whole situation strangly brought back memory of high school. Where I’m the one being bullied, and my first reflex is to tell the authority of what’s happening. What should I do? Defend myself? I feel like no matter what I would say, it would A: sound harsh because it’s charged with so much emotion, and B: will go back to me, as it always does. So long for the fun place to work.

Tomorrow is a new day

Anyway, despite having bad days, and bad sleep, tomorrow is another day. I have solved two stressful situations today, both of them regarding my car and the summer tires, so I guess tomorrow can only go better? We shall see

That’s all for me today. It was a rent, but it kinda worked! I feel already a little bit better than 1 hour ago.